Family Natters

view of garden at Aphrodites Boutique Hotel

If you are considering staying at Aphrodites Boutique Hotel in the Lake District, I’d suggest you get yourself to the best shrink you can afford. Fast.

The photo to the right shows the garden. Pretty special, right? The hotel say they are in the middle of improvements so the stack of broken pallets and bits of polythene are an artistic statement you’ll surely appreciate.

Broken window in luxury suite

If you like to eat from dirty tableware, you’ll love the organic restaurant. The tables are packed so tightly together, you may have to breathe in and walk like a crab to get seated, but once you’re jammed in prepare yourself for a culinary vision – tablewear encrusted with the previous occupents’ spills. Mmmmm!

But the excitement doesn’t end there. If you pay an extra £10 per couple on top of the extortionate £160 you’ve already forked out, you are allowed … wait for it…sausages and bacon!

Fancy slipping into your slippers and towelling robe then taking a dip in the spectacular pool advertised on their web site? You might need to rethink your foot wear. It’s a 15 minute hike away – to someone else’s far superior lakeside hotel. What fun!

On your return it’s time to slip into that hot tub. Bliss! The people above have a direct view of you and insist on waving at you every 5 minutes. Bet you wish you’d packed your trunks now.

Dancing-Fountain Lake Windermere

When you eventually mange to scurry back inside behind a strategically placed holly bush leaf, remember to draw the curtains. It might be hot and stuffy in your room because the broken windows don’t open, but it’s better than having more guests peer in at you from the garden. They’re a friendly lot, I’ll say that for them.

Now it’s evening. You’ve been waiting for darkness to fall so you can watch the ‘dancing fountain’ hand in hand with your loved one. Imagine your excitement when you see the brown water and limp water jets. Honestly, it doesn’t get any more romantic than this.

attractively stained bedlinen

You’ve had such a wonderful day, what with the manager being rude at every opportunity, but it really is time to slip into that 4 poster bed you went without groceries for a month to pay for. How luxurious! How soft! How stained! And the effect of the gold spray paint against the ornate carvings? It’s a bit thin in places but very professional if a 4-year-old did it. The perfect end to a perfect day.

Yes, I have been to Claridges and here is a video to prove it. It was all wonderful: from arriving and being treated to free drinks because they’d messed up our reservation to staying in a suite of 3 plush rooms. The staff were too fawning for my liking, for example leading you to the toilets and pressing the soap dispenser for you.  In the lift you had to sit on a gold brocade settee while a man with top hat and coat tails pressed the button and called us sir and madam.   I bet he was secretly seething though after we’d been up and down five times without tipping him.

Sundown Adventure Land is located six miles from the A1 Markham Moor and sign posted three miles from Dunham on the A57. Admission is £8 per person with under 2’s free of charge. Best suited for families with children under 10, it offers the following:

• numerous parks with slides, cargo nets, bridges, round-abouts and climbing apparatus
• go-karts
• automated rides on rails (tractor, train and Robin Hood)
• boat ride (you get wet!)
• small-scale buildings to investigate
• indoor ball pool/ slide area
• 2 x indoor eating places (includes healthy food such as jacket potatoes and sandwiches)

I really recommend it. Tom calls it “Fun Down.”

Last night we went to watch Leeds Rhinos against Wakefield Wildcats at Headingly. We had tickets for the Premier Experience, the itinery for which was:

6:00p.m doors open (we were in traffic)
6:15 meal served (still in traffic)
7:15 pre-match analysis (we rushed in and managed to get some food still)
8:00 kick off (only a […]

No, this is not a photo of James. Its one of the entries we saw in a scarecrow competition in Eastrington, East Yorkshire. The idea was to find the scarecrows and make a phrase out of the letters you found the scarecrows holding up.

Here are the letters: H D F E D T E E O R L W

Clue: a famous song about making sure everyone has enough to eat

Have you worked it out?

If you are interested in finding out about the fight records of Steve Collins and Nigel Benn, meeting them in person, having your photo taken with them or asking them questions, then you should consider buying a ticket for one of their sportsmen’s dinners.

For about £60 per person you also receive a 3 course meal plus hearing them talk about themselves. For a further £20 there is then the opportunity to have your photo taken, or you can take your own photos and request autographs. Usually there is the chance to win or buy boxing relating memrobilla via raffles and ?

One of the best value canal boat day’s out is Pennine Cruisers of Skipton. We hired one of their larger boats in February, and as it was their winter rate, it cost us just £85 for up to 10 people.

The children loved helping to open and close the many swing bridges along the route, and the men enjoyed being captain for the day. One of the nicest parts though was mooring ourselves up near a pub for lunch. Such a peaceful and relaxing day with wonderful scenery. We all arrived home tired out!

If you want to experience the adrenaline rush of a terminal velocity free-fall with very little risk, why not try Airkix’s specially built wind tunnel at Xscape Milton Keynes. There are various packages you can buy in increments of 1 minute and there are options to also have photos or a DVD made of your flight, but roughly it works out at £15 per minute. Everyone starts by watching a short educational video then learning the hand signals that the instructor uses to coach you. To start the important points are to:

relax
keep movements slow and to a minimum
keep your chin up
keep your back arched and your legs bent
keep your palms down and your arms outstreched in line with your head
For me, it was one of the most thrilling sports I’ve ever tried. A little difficult perhaps to get your breath at first, but very quickly you start to relax and understand how to move. Children as young as 4 can fly, and friends and family can view for free.

2 Responses to “Air kicks at Airkix in Milton Keynes Xscape”
1
TopVeg Says:

Sounds like a good christmas present?

November 22nd, 2007 at 8:56 pm
2
admin Says:

Hi TopVeg
Definately, will it be on your list? I’d love to go again.

December 14th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
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Sundown Adventure Land is located six miles from the A1 Markham Moor and sign posted three miles from Dunham on the A57. Admission is £8 per person with under 2’s free of charge. Best suited for families with children under 10, it offers the following:

numerous parks with slides, cargo nets, bridges, round-abouts and climbing apparatus

go-karts

automated rides on rails (tractor, train and Robin Hood)

boat ride (you get wet!)

small-scale buildings to investigate

indoor ball pool/ slide area

2 x indoor eating places (includes healthy food such as jacket potatoes and sandwiches)
I really recommend it. Tom calls it “Fun Down.”

What adventure park have you enjoyed and why?

If you are interested in finding out about the fight records of Steve Collins and Nigel Benn, meeting them in person, having your photo taken with them or asking them questions, then you should consider buying a ticket for one of their sportsmen’s dinners.

For about £60 per person you also receive a 3 course meal plus hearing them talk about themselves. For a further £20 there is then the opportunity to have your photo taken, or you can take your own photos and request autographs. Usually there is the chance to win or buy boxing relating memrobilla via raffles and auctions. Just don’t get drunk and regret a maor purchase the day after.