Family Natters

Note missing jewel bottom right arm

Surely Kate and Gerry McCann did not kill their daughter, Madeleine. I just don’t believe that anyone could be so selfish as to sedate their child just so he or she could enjoy an evening out. Likewise it can’t be possible that they could go to the tapas bar and pretend everything was fine if they had accidentally overdosed her and she was already dead. No parent could be so cold-blooded.

I think all Kate and Gerry are guilty of is neglect. Yes, they shouldn’t have left the children alone, but how many of us have worked in a garden while a little one snoozes with the front door unlocked, or left a sleeping child in an unlocked car?

Have you?

Yvonne contacted Familynatters when trying to understand her child’s report.

Dear Lorna

Can you help me understand what a level 2a is in literacy and 2b in numeracy?  My son is coming to the end of year 3 and I’ve just received her school report.

Well, Yvonne, a 2A is the expected achievement level for a child about to finish year 3.   Your son has therefore achieved the expected level in literacy but not quite in numeracy.

Sometimes parents are given attainment levels on their children’s school reports.  But what do they mean?

1 Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a thousand billion) 13 digits

1 Million = 1,000,000 (a thousand thousand) 7 digits
1 Billion = 1,000,000,000 (a thousand million) 10 digits (although some people say 100 million)
Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a thousand billion) 13 digits
Quintillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a million trillion) 19 digits
Sextillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a thousand quintillion) 22 digits
Nonillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Ahhhhhh!

1 Billion = 1,000,000,000 (a thousand million) 10 digits (although some people say 100 million)

1 Million = 1,000,000 (a thousand thousand) 7 digits
1 Billion = 1,000,000,000 (a thousand million) 10 digits
Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a thousand billion) 13 digits
Quintillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a million trillion) 19 digits
Sextillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a thousand quintillion) 22 digits
Nonillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Ahhhhhh!
Centillion: 1 followed by 303 zeros

Last night I told James I didn’t feel like going to the Pampered Chef party a neighbour had invited me to. “I’m tired and I’ve got toothache,” I wined. “But I’ll have to go because that sounds so lame.”
“I’ll help you,” James volunteered, taking one eye off Sky Sports News. “I’ll go round and smooth things over.”

Ofcourse I should have known better. I really should have phoned up and been honest. But weak as I am, I sat back and waited for James to come back… and waited… and waited.

Five hours later I woke up to hear someone falling over the wheelie bin, which wasn’t anywhere near our front door. Then James banged on the door before he tried the handle and fell through it.

“I’ve really helped you out this time,” he slurred, the buttons on his fly undone. “Three hours I spent at that tupperware party sitting next to a load of lezzers. The food was rubbish and they ran out of tinnies, but don’t worry, I’ve brought you back a souvenir. Fuck knows what it is, but I doubt they’ll miss it.”

Yes, he really smoothed things over for me.

The best way to treat corneal warpage is to stop wearing contact lenses and allow the conreas to heal themselves. Depending on what kind of lenses you have been wearing, your age and how badly they were warped, it may take anything from a week to many months for them to stablise. Some doctors and opthamologists recommend you attend their clinic for regular topography checks during this time. They’re looking for the cornears to regain a normal shape and as this happens your prescription may change, sometimes worsening.

Some people worry about how they are going to manage in this time, but often they find that the blur they used to complain of when wearing spectacles improves rapidly once contact lenses aren’t used at all. The important thing is not to cheat by thinking you can wear contacts for just a few hours and it not effect the healing process.

An increase in astigmatism at this time sometimes occurs, but this is not really a deterioration because it was only hidden by the warpage.

When vision has stablized your opthamolgist may prescribe new contact lenses, refractive surgery, implants or continued use of glasses.

Yes, I have been to Claridges and here is a video to prove it. It was all wonderful: from arriving and being treated to free drinks because they’d messed up our reservation to staying in a suite of 3 plush rooms. The staff were too fawning for my liking, for example leading you to the toilets and pressing the soap dispenser for you.  In the lift you had to sit on a gold brocade settee while a man with top hat and coat tails pressed the button and called us sir and madam.   I bet he was secretly seething though after we’d been up and down five times without tipping him.